A Letter I Secretly Desire to Send to the MSA

Dear Users of the Sister's Prayer Room,

May I kindly request the following from you:

1. I don't care if you sleep in the prayer room. However, if you do happen to snore in your sleep, then do not sleep in the prayer room. People like me will not be able to concentrate on their prayer while you sleep. People like me will also record your incessant snoring on their cell phone. People like me wish that your snoring could actually be recorded, sufficient enough to hear on their cell phone. People like YOU should be thankful that people like me have crappy cell phones with crappy sound recorders. To the sister who snores in the prayer room, I understand it may have been a tough day at school for you, but please, find another place to pass out. Thanks.


2. Do not talk while I am praying. There are other places on campus where you may speak freely. The cafeteria. The halls. The bathroom. Please don't talk while I am trying to pray. Please don't talk about how Reviving the Islamic Spirit is too Sufi and we all shouldn't go because our aqeedah will be weakened. Please don't talk about how all of the lecturers at RIS will go to Hell for misleading our generation and not conveying the true message of Islam. Perhaps if I were able to concentrate on my prayer, I could fulfill a fundamental component of Islam... you know, prayer. Yeah. Thanks.


3. Please don't NOT talk while I'm praying. Contradictory, I know.
   
   Sister #1 and #2 are having a conversation with each other. I walk into the prayer room. Sister #1 and #2 stare blankly at my face.
   
   Me: ...=D! *takes off shoes*
   Sister #1: Assalamu Alaikum.
   Me: Walaikum Assalam.
   
   Soo... as I walk towards the prayer mats, I can sense these two sisters staring at the back of my head. I begin to pray... and I hear nothing. Silence. It's all I ever wanted. Or was it?
   
   Me: Why aren't they talking? Are they looking at me? Is my hair showing? Do they think my pants are too tight? They must think my pants are too tight. Why aren't they talking to each other? Qul a'oothu birabbi annas. Wait, I think I already recited Surah An-Nas. Or did I? Maybe that was Surah Al-Falaq. Wait, which raka'ah am I on? I think I recited Al-Ikhlas and An-Nas or Al-Falaq. So I must be on the second. I think. Or maybe not. DAMNIT. I mean... darn.

Signed,
The sister who's not quite sure what she wants anymore. =\